Earl Pitts - American! PITTS OFF!

About Earl Pitts

About Earl

Earl Pitts is a hard-working, right-thinking, regular American - like millions of other men in this country. He has a wife and children, and works at a transmission factory during the day and as a part time bartender at night.

But here's Earl's problem. Wife, kids, co-workers, bosses, buddies, bar patrons - everyone has the potential to drive Earl nuts. Or as he asks every day, 'You know what makes me sick?' His wife and kids seem happy to jump up and down on Earl's last nerve, and his buddies can become clueless idiots at the drop of a hat. And those are the people Earl likes!!

Politically, Earl thinks Rush Limbaugh, and Glen Beck are left wing, commies. However, you may hear an Earl commentary that you agree with. Earl is right. He just has a whacked way of getting there. In fact there are times when he may seem to be left and right at the same time. Nothing about Earl Pitts is simple.

Earlís home life is a mess. His wife Pearl is of the Askins clan. Pearl and here sisters are all named after precious stones Pearl, Ruby, Onyx and Cubic Zerconia.

Earl's daughter, Sandra Dee, is a receptionist school graduate who almost got married. But her wedding day was interrupted with Homeland Security raided the church and hauled off the groom in cuffs for Guantanamo Bay . She's been holed up in her room ever since, crying and 'looking for answers'.

Earl's pride and joy is his young son, Earl Junior. EJ is a high-school freshman. Earl almost died of embarrassment when EJ joined the school marching band. But, was delighted when EJ dated one of his teachers.

And it doesn't get much better at work or down at The Duck Inn, where Earl works part time as a bartender. His best buddy is Dub Meeker, who will admit heís not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Earl describes him 300-pounds of dumb. Dub's brother, Junior Meeker tends to be the conspiracy nut in the group. He likes to remind his friends ñ nothing happens by accident. Except (of course ) accidents.

The rest of the gang at The Duck Inn, Runt Wilson, Pete the bartender, Bad Ear Blunt, and others help shape Earlís regular-American viewpoint, including his sexy neighbor-lady Naomi. Earlís already fallen off his roof three times trying to get a peek of Naomi sun-bathing in her back yard.

It's easy to tell after listening to a few commentaries - that Earl Pitts loves America. It's just that a lot of people living here - 'make him sick'. Catch Earl's daily commentaries on your favorite radio stations across the country - or download his unique take on American life on this website. Either way - it's 'Wake Up America' - and 'Pitts Off'

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